i thought that i had forgiven you

many trips around the sun ago,

but today i discovered a niggle,

a little pest folded within a thought.

 

because wherever you are in this

moment, i cannot wish you well

without a pause and a clench in

my teeth through a smile.

 

surprised by this notion disingenuous,

i pause.

 

and discover that the wounds written

with your name once again need

a bit of gardening.

 

i am so deeply tired of this process

so truly disappointed that i must

once again think of you and prick

the sore so it can breathe.

 

i want to be done with this

but know the only way i can

truly be free, is to minister to

this pain, this anger once again.

 

even though i will never forget,

the ripples are too wide and lasting,

i can let go, choose to forgive

 

as many times as required

until my heart is at peace.

 

 

Heather Pound 2023

Photo by Ben Wicks on Unsplash