as i contemplate the grief

the loss

the crushing down

the tumble

the resistance

the death of who i was

into the resurrection of

who i am

 

i remember back to the beginning

when i would have given anything

to simply jump the chasm of grief

to the other side

 

to look back and say ‘ah ha’ to loss

‘i have foiled you

i laugh at your intention

you have not got me yet’

 

that would have thrilled me then

but now i look back and back down

to gaze at my own two hands

the things that these hands and heart

can hold and the things that they

have made

 

because you would not have

convinced me in the middle

that this could at all be true

–but now i treasure the things

that pain and loss have gifted me

 

with things like—

‘you will keep breathing

you will stand up once again

this journey will have an end’

 

and what it was like in the midst

of darkness thick to see 

the very first crack

the tear in the black

when light came through again

 

Heather Pound 2024

Photo by Joe Dudeck on Unsplash