you had this idea that you could go out

into the large wide world and that somehow

you would be able to bear all that you came across

 

the joys

the pains

the labour futile

and the moments that made it all worth it

were fewer and further between

than you ever imagined

 

and you gave and you poured out

ladles of water here and there

into the endless everywhere

 

and you were surprised that you became dry

shrivelled as walnuts do

and you had nothing left with which to wash

your own cracked skin

or to cleanse from your heart the ongoing struggle

of other people’s pain

 

for you knew that heartless was never a name

you could sew on your own tender skin

yet your own heart desensitised bit by bit uncomfortable

and this was perhaps worse even because hardened scabs

tear at healthy flesh when bumped or jarred

 

so you retreated for a time to ponder

to lick your wounds

to heal

and discovered that even though empathy

is your unspoken name

that empathy must be extended to yourself first

before others can also experience her balm

 

and you learned that while pain is a thing

that must be felt

–that you can release it as well

 

so now as you sit with others in the expression of theirs

[even those the very closest to your heart]

you let the feelings ebb and flow like tide

you listen and respect the place of which they are

joining them there then

but once they leave you stop to notice—to feel

the uncomfortable poking here

the nestling in of soreness there

 

and you gather up theses morsels together

like fruit freshly picked bushelled up

and then you consciously—release

 

radiating out of fingers and toes

top of the head

bottom of feet

 

because this is not your task to feel long

this pain is theirs and not yours to bear

any longer than is needed

for empathy extended at the time

 

you will remember—yes—and you can

go with them there again

but carrying other people’s pain long

is a habit unsustainable

 

this is not heartless–but necessary

if this habit continues

it will only harm YOU

and will do nothing

to alleviate theirs

 

–it is not possible to carry other people’s pain

 

 

Heather Pound 2024

Photo by Jerry Kavan on Unsplash