Author: heatherpound

if you cannot move

feet planted solid and fast

stuck in the mud and muck

you can at least still lean

 

lean into the direction that you next want to go

the place where fields of grace await

do not lean back in remembrance of the place

that you have been

 

to gather bouquets of lessons learned is fine

but do not go back to the site of your scars

do not seek the presence of the things that did this

 

that was then

this is now

so in this moment in the absence of

all that is darkness

lean

 

lean strong and intentional towards grace

grace for others too but mostly towards

the grace you never offered to you

 

a child throws tantrums because they do not

know how to identify a need

it’s not really about a fizzy or a biscuit

or not putting on their shoes

it’s about the need of rest of comfort

or the calming of a mind overstimulated

 

you have grace for this—but you struggle

with grace for you

 

i do not say this to add to any guilt of shame

but to gently point to that doorway that portal

that leads the way towards grace

 

softly beckoning

gently drawing

you can follow her there if you choose

 

Heather Pound 2024

Photo by meriç tuna on Unsplash

she shot from curled up ball of fluff one second

to protector-predator the next

haunches strong propelling her across the room

in celebration of the hunt instinctual

 

and my what a lovely time she had

chasing that one wayward little mouse

around the house this morn

 

and since the mouse escaped in the end

[i would like to know where it is now anyway]

perhaps it was a lovely way for it

to spend the morn  as well

 

–oh the ways and wonders of the creature that is cat

Heather Pound 2024

photo by Hannah Bates

when you call to yourself

disoriented within the forest of trees

branches waving

wondering if you have lost yourself at last

darkness approaching

leaves rustling with who-knows-what

coming

 

in moments like these you do not stop

to politely consider

—no you scream out loud intuitively

from the depths of your very soul

perhaps in whispers nervous at first

then in howls full throated

 

and you call out to yourself

what you truly think of

as your own self-name

 

while you were named at birth

what you name yourself

within those woods

matters

 

in moments and places such as these

what is the name you instinctively choose

 

——we must be careful what we name ourselves since that is who we truly think we are. if things like idiot and looser and stupid are your go-to of habit, then intentionally choose and practice a different name. 

 

Heather Pound 2024

Photo by Sebastian Unrau on Unsplash

do you know that it is not just

the whole and healed

parts of who you are–

the parts that you bring out

in settings polite

that you deem worthwhile

and fit for public consumption

 

these are not the entirety

of the ‘you’ that matters

[and i am sorry you were ever made

to feel as if they were] and

all the parts that you tend to conceal

do not make you less than

 

we are all a mixture and a mess

and every part of us is welcome

–because how can we ever become

the whole if we consistently deny

the portions that need tender love

and care to adapt

to heal

 

and all of these things we consider flaws

might just become gifts in the end

as they teach us about what it means

to be human for others and ourselves

and therefore

how to grow

 

Heather Pound 2024

Photo by Aedrian on Unsplash

i want to remind you that life

is worth living

 

that while unknown and scary

it seems while locked up away

in your safe place

 

that there is more right out the

door than the things that caused

the retreat

 

and that living is a muscle that

must be stretched and built

through consistency and practice

 

and time, but if you look back later

after even a small bit of exercise

you will see that you have grown

 

that you are stronger than before

–and you are safe

 

so, please take a risk even if

you have already tried it

time and time again

 

please do it once more

–open that door

 

Heather Pound 2024

Photo by Behzad Ghaffarian on Unsplash

if you carry a cup of tea my friend

across a crowded room

and on the way your arm is bumped

by a thoughtless person or two

 

then out of the cup will slosh

not water or juice or coffee

–but tea

 

your cup may be paper

or styrofoam

or ceramic

or glass

or the finest of porcelain even

 

it might be decorated bright

or be the plainest of plain

the outside of the cup

is not so much what matters

 

because if tea is what’s inside

then when knocked

[as often teacups are]

then tea is what will slosh

 

and i ask you this

[and i ask my own self too]

what is it that splashes out

when you become jarred

or bumped or pushed

a little too hard

 

what is in your cup

that might spill out

all over whomever

happens to be near

 

being jostled from time

to time

is unavoidable

but you can be in charge

of what is inside

 

–this is an important matter to monitor and ascertain

(metaphor borrowed from society at large]

 

Heather Pound 2024

Photo by Rodolfo Marques on Unsplash

sometimes

the most powerful thing a person can do

is simply to refuse

 

refuse to go down without a fight

refuse the fear that lurks within

that sense of guilt or shame

 

to refuse to listen to that cycle that

plays now on repeat of

‘not good enough’

‘too much’

‘useless’

‘unworthy’

 

to pick themselves up

to hold on to the last shred of light

strength is discovered in places such as these

resiliency formed

 

it is not the denial of that pain or its cause

but the recognition

the acceptance

that what is—just is

 

and then choosing

nay, refusing

to become defined by the pain

 

Heather Pound 2024

Photo by Cathi Giesler

fields of sweetcorn towering in the sun

gathered in close–not set row upon row 

like my grandfather used to make

in a place that required irrigation

to enable plants to grow

 

the word that comes to mind

as i soak in this ample scene

is one i would use to describe a place

we have access to—but forget to live as if we do

 

it is

abundance

like this field before me

like the dreams of our ancestors

like all the things

a wonderous bounty of things

we casually hold

and may not even notice

or just clean forget

 

yet each of us holds enough space

in our hearts

to cradle all of this

 

–be aware of and count your many blessings

 

Heather Pound 2024

Photo by Demian Tejeda-Benitez on Unsplash

you are caught in a tangle

a maze of worry and unease

sending you scattered down the path

forgetting which direction to go

whether you right or left last turned

bewildered

 

then you stop and turn and realise

that the walls that surround are not

as solid as they seem

 

as you examine them

you begin to see patterns

swirls and angles assembled

 

and realise then that a hedge full

of bushes and vines does not

a prison make

that freedom is entirely possible

and is even close at hand

 

and as you compare the logic available

in this moment to the chaos of the last

you realise that slowing right down

and facing your fears

has shown that they were not

as dangerous as you supposed

 

and the threats that were perceived

out of the corner of your eye

were not the impenetrable ones

assumed once you had turned

to face them instead

 

then you sit right down

place hands on hedge

unravel some branches here

detangle some vines over there

and you slip right through the

space you have found

 

and find that you in fact

are now no longer bound

 

Heather Pound 2024

Photo by Anh Tuan To on Unsplash

there was a time when i had

forgotten how to sing

[perhaps you have forgotten too]

 

my voice became softer and quiet

until finally at last it stilled

except for the rare occasion

when something guttural and deep

released a note or two

 

i remember the echoing silence

and the raspy feeling when i opened

my mouth and nothing poured forth

dry

 

i was a singer from the time i was born

even before my first uttered word

natural in the music and the dance

 

when i try to pinpoint the moment exact

of when my song was stilled—

i think of a particular dark night  

where i sat and wept and held onto

the thought that joy comes sure

with morning’s light

 

this thought–

it got me through

many nights

such as these

 

until that chapter was closed at last

and i realised then that i held the pen

to rewrite

to invent

start afresh

learn again

to show up each and every day

released

 

and in the quiet of the moment

i noticed the rhythm

the beat

the drum

the sound of my very own heart

 

and a melody not altogether different–yet new

was stirred within my soul

and i cleared my throat

 

—and sang

[if it happened to me

you might experience it too]

 

Heather Pound 2024

Photo by Matthew Jungling on Unsplash