Author: heatherpound

you sit there drawn in tight

arms crossed in self-embrace,

like a coiled spring waiting

 

and you wonder when the other

shoe will drop, when tragedy

will strike again,

 

because trauma has already

shouted in your world

loud

 

and whispers still that it might

return with haste at any

given moment.

 

since you have experienced this,

this lid lifted off to reveal

possibilities dark within,

 

it can be difficult to seal back in.

i see this, i know this.

 

but together let us consider

the good. let’s notice and

honor all the times that

the sun has shone instead.

 

moments so stunning in beauty

and safety and heartfelt living that

statistically show that something

wonderful is likely instead.

 

and if you spend your time

waiting for the tragedy only,

 

you will never notice these.

 

so, even if only a fraction at a time,

unwrap your arms cinched tight,

spread them wide, bit by bit,

 

and experience finally the beauty,

the amazing, awe-inspiring, glorious

daily grace that makes life worth living

 

and offsets and even exceeds, yes, eclipses

the dark.

 

i believe you can do this.

 

Heather Pound 2023

Photo by Kateryna Hliznitsova on Unsplash

when your parents did not parent

in a way that was absolute best

for individual you,

 

–this often is the case since even

for the best of parents, children

come in all shapes and varieties

 

without manual included, and

were parented by imperfect

people as well—

 

then you must learn to parent

yourself better than what

was received.

 

embrace this responsibility

serious, learn your own ways

well and do your level best

 

to direct yourself as needed.

to soften edges sharp within

your very own heart,

 

to engage with process healing.

because however many left

your days may or may not be,

 

each and every one of these

has the prospect to be better

and more richly lived

 

with even a modest amount

of intention.

 

and if the adult you does not

take up this task urgent,

there is only yourself

to chide.

 

Heather Pound 2023

Photo by Suzi Kim on Unsplash

as I sit beside and ponder
all the things that make up you,
the things you have done, your
accomplishments both small
and tremendous,

yet it’s the essence of who you
ARE that has mattered.

you have made a difference
to so many, going above and
beyond and always wearing
the face of the one whose
name you represent faithful,

and I want to be more like you.
in fact, if I have a hero here upon
this earth, you are one of these.

and now that your heart is tired
and your breathing will soon slow
i find that in this I want to be like
you as well—-

for what will your eyes not long see,

what faces will you encounter, what
sights will you behold?

and it will not be long until you hear
the words, “well done,” spoken loud
and long, and then you can fold into
the arms of the one who will never
let you go.

Heather Pound 2023

Photo by Danie Franco on Unsplash

i do not need to defend you,

giver of life, bringing of peace,

because you can stand on your

 

own two feet, and have been

doing this far longer than i have

been in existence.

 

but i do implore you, beseech,

that you show yourself both kind

and strong to this person i love

 

who needs your light and life

and right now, thinks that you

are but a dopamine rush in

my brain and do not really

exist.

 

you have chosen to make yourself

un-seeable, unexplainable

 

and this generation who have witnessed

hypocrisy indeed in the frame of your name,

have chosen science and things proven

as their source of wisdom and truth.

 

and while i can’t blame them really,

i also cannot deny the presence of

things that cannot be seen

 

because you have made known to me

impossible peace and joy in the midst

of the worst that life has to offer,

 

you have walked beside me as i

drank from streams of life and love

and joy,

 

you have been my light in dark places

and put strength within my bones,

 

my companion constant.

you have never let me go.

 

as you have done for me and still

every day do, please shine your light

in a way that cannot be

explained or missed

 

and let this heart tattered

understand that you will do this

for them too.

 

–i have chosen to generally use my writing in a broad, less in-your-face way, but this is who i am, too, and this is what my heart needed to say today. 

 

Heather Pound 2023

Photo by David Clode on Unsplash

Photo by David Clode on Unsplash

too many distractions that have

become habits keep your mind

from embracing the space that

it requires

 

crowding in and taking over like

the buzzing of a full hive bees

 

adding in one by one

until it becomes a roar insistent

 

while your heart

whispers fervent

for peace.

 

only you can cut off these things

and make space for your heart

to speak once again.

 

this may be painful at first,

allowing space for the unpleasant,

 

but is a process less painful

than the shoving down of all

things big and small that plead

for your attention

 

until your heart like the house

of a hoarder messy becomes,

one teetering tower away from

disaster imminent.

 

so, take steps in the present, today

to listen to your ever-beating heart,

 

for whether you are aware of it or

not, it is the source of all things

true, the essence of who you are

and it will be heard,

one way

or another.

 

Heather Pound 2023

Photo by Esteban Abalsa on Unsplash

slow. slowdown that part of you that

always waits for the next moment

and the next.

 

breathe in the air of sea,

feel the sand beneath your feet,

the sun on skin, the sound of

waves and wind.

 

and let those thoughts

that belong to tomorrow

blow away on the breeze.

 

you will have much more

strength for them then

if you embrace the peace

that is at hand today.

 

Heather Pound 2023

Photo by Arusfly 🐋 on Unsplash

how can i explain to you

the dizzying disorientation

that I feel

 

as we sit here in the present

talking about a topic that is

well and good

 

but for me it triggers and

takes me out of today into

time past

 

and my body, while perfectly

safe right now, remembers

a story different.

 

and even as my lips move

i am breathing in deep and

slow

 

reminding myself that i am

here and now and that i

am secure.

 

i feel the fabric of the sofa

beneath my fingers and i

scan the room.

 

even though this sounds

unpleasant, and it is, i have

dealt with this long.

 

and while this would have

sent me reeling in the past,

feeling like my

 

body itself betrayed and would

send me to my bed shivering

for the day,

 

i am now more swiftly aware,

more armed with the thoughts

that will remind me

 

that my body is my friend and

i appreciate its attempts to

protect

 

and whisper to it my thanks but its

vigilance in this moment is not

required

 

and most of the time this relationship

with ptsd goes unnoticed now by

everyone but me.

 

–when you have been strong through trauma and/or difficult circumstances for far too long without the opportunity to recover so your nervous system begins to slip too easily into fight, flight or freeze very much overreacting in the present moment, you may develop ptsd. if this is not you, please understand that for some that this is a very real issue and that just getting on with it is not an option. they need space, time and support to heal. if this is you, please know that there is support out there and that the out-of-control-ness that you feel now, does not mean it will be that way forever.

Heather Pound 2023

Photo by Johannes Plenio on Unsplash

i am certain my cat

can read my mind

because as soon as

i think the thought

that i must get up

from chair, into my

lap she climbs

 

saying, “wait a little

longer, tarry. do

not rush into your

day. stay right here

with me, commune

in peace.”

 

and often, if my

schedule permits,

i listen to her wisdom

ancient for a time.

 

 

Heather Pound 2023

Photo by Green_Katsuto on Unsplash

i thought that i had forgiven you

many trips around the sun ago,

but today i discovered a niggle,

a little pest folded within a thought.

 

because wherever you are in this

moment, i cannot wish you well

without a pause and a clench in

my teeth through a smile.

 

surprised by this notion disingenuous,

i pause.

 

and discover that the wounds written

with your name once again need

a bit of gardening.

 

i am so deeply tired of this process

so truly disappointed that i must

once again think of you and prick

the sore so it can breathe.

 

i want to be done with this

but know the only way i can

truly be free, is to minister to

this pain, this anger once again.

 

even though i will never forget,

the ripples are too wide and lasting,

i can let go, choose to forgive

 

as many times as required

until my heart is at peace.

 

 

Heather Pound 2023

Photo by Ben Wicks on Unsplash

while the storm may roar around

it does not need to rage within

because you, cognizant creation,

have the ability sift through the

damage being done, evaluate,

shore up and reach out to all

you know that will bring

you peace,

intentional.

 

so, take the time and space

to see, to act. you do not

have to just endure

the tempest.

 

Heather Pound 2023

Photo by Fer Nando on Unsplash