today is filled with wind and rain in a season meant for sun. but yesterday i spent some time communing with trees trying to recall if they were maple, oak or elm and was pleased when i identified birch by its trunk.
and when the path went through native new zealand bush, there were two feathered tails, chirping and flicking their fans from branch to branch as if i wasn’t there, and a tui perched unbothered not a meter from my face black with iridescent blue flashing in the sun.
but even on this stormy day, i looked out my kitchen window and saw a single sunflower peeking bravely over the fence from my neighbour’s garden and he doesn’t even know i adore their golden rays.
i really should expect it by now, but each and every year it takes me by surprise as i unwrap the little trumpeting angels carved with love and hung upon ribbons of scarlet and place them on the tree
one for each of my family, our names scrawled on the bottom in my father’s own hand.
[and in that moment grief arrives with her bittersweet bands and wraps them around my chest as i remember him.]
and am reminded how i took them to calcutta and purchased a tiny tree simply for them because we had no extra space when our youngest was only seven
and i remember his giggles and grins and how he would climb onto laps often
my littlest one who’s still here but is grown and understandably is not to be cuddled often.
[and in that moment grief arrives with her bittersweet bands and wraps them around my chest as i remember him.]
then i think of my other babes too, grown up and off on their own, three more sets of eager, small hands that would decorate the tree
adoring who they currently are, but missing what used to be.
[and in that moment grief arrives with her bittersweet bands and wraps them around my chest as i remember them.]
and i breathe and reflect, isn't it marvellous to have precious ones to miss. memories stored up to treasure, nostalgic in times like these?
and i would never trade the ache right now for love to have never been....
then while the bands of both bitter and sweet flex and stretch on repeat, i plug in the cable to light up the tree
and the angels carved by my father’s loving hands catch the light once again.
heather pound 2025
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i forgot to pause and watch the leafy palm fronds as sea breeze blew and made them wave towards passing birds chorusing the dawn.
and i neglected to notice the way sunshine warmed my hungry skin in spring, or to breath in slow the fragrance of rain mingling with earth.
and yet i remember wondering why the world had turned grey there for a bit.
you know what it’s like to be shaken. there were days and days you’ve been unsure when you’ve walked through fire, danger nipping heels
yet even then, even in those moments something stood up in your heart, a line not to be crossed, a barrier you would not allow to be broken
when a force arose and said, no. not this. enough. no further.
i know for a fact, my friend that this—is courage.
but remember that the times you’ve felt the sweetest kiss of spring well up within your soul and words of beauty escaped your lips with joy unbridled, waterfalls of overflowing
you may not know it yet, but leaning into this even when you know that darkness all too well exists— this is courage too.
courage resists the dark but is equally detectable by participating in the light
heather pound 2025
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it wasn’t that you had done far, far too much for way, way too long
that burnout inched up closer…and closer… until it charged and l-e-a-p-t and hobbled you unexpected.
it wasn’t what you did at all but what you did not do.
when you didn’t acknowledge the ache lingering beside your heart and thought if you disregarded it, it would one day slip away.
when you did not notice your natural human needs growing and piling up until they were an unsteady tower, precarious.
when you didn’t listen as your mind and body grew increasingly unsettled, unfocused distracted by the chaos of ‘busy’ instead.
so, pause, turn towards your heart with courage recognise your urgent needs and listen to your helpful body’s request for calm
if not this instant, today.
—burnout is not about excessive outward production, it is dysregulation and all of those niggling internal cues you’ve ceased to see. trust me, making adjustments now is waaaaay easier than coming back from burnout.
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the morning of the launch of my book was like the day of my wedding where I’d focused on planning the celebration ahead for days and weeks before
but on the daybreak of, i realised this was a time where things near and dear to my heart, things most precious and cherished would be on display
and the vulnerability of this well, it made me shake.
quite literally on the day that i wed as i posed for photos and the muscles of my smile trembled and i had to frequently pause and breathe to get the photos we wanted and the photographer wisely said let’s just take a silly one and we pulled funny faces instead.
i love that photo still since it’s just me and my kids letting the ‘proper’ slip and our inner weirdness out and isn’t that vulnerable too?
another favorite of that day is when we were caught the six of us in our first official family hug, unplanned, unnoticed affection on display, exposed a couple across an ocean now wed four fatherless children held by strong arms.
and it was the moment when i was reading out poems from my beloved book and the faces watching began to respond and i saw the words that were mine connecting with them, that i remembered vulnerability is nearly always worth it.
heather pound 2025
Photo by Jeremy Podborny
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a morsel of wisdom is worth every wrinkle upon your face, grey hair above your head.
she is the blanket soft, yet fierce of those who have wandered long enough to realise that even when she instructs you walk a path more rugged than you’d choose, that her advice is worth it.
she is a warm and velvet comfort that rests upon your skin, yet more watchful, protective, honest than any kind of armour polished you used to strive to wear.
life with her is peaceful, pure more than you ever comprehended when your simple, constant default was to take the easy road
and all the things you gathered when you were merely young and have needed to unlearn
were worth every tear you shed as you leaned right in and learned the harmonious, crystal voice of her wise, protective words.
Heather Pound 