Author: heatherpound

“i could have done better

i should have said this

I would have done that”

round and round

the wheel again

 

but to live in this cycle

does not honour the effort

the things that went well

and the moments that were

even perhaps…great

 

and what power are you

giving away to others

anyway, allowing them

to be judge and jury?

 

they do not determine

your worth.

this one experience

does not define

 

if you sought to do your best

(even if you had the ability

to do better in the end)

celebrate the wins and

let the rest

—rest.

 

                                   –don’t let yesterday’s worry bleed into today

heather pound 2024

Photo by Jacob Bentzinger on Unsplash

the thing about a sanctuary is,

it is a place that you must go

-whether it’s physical

or a space within your heart-

and a place you must choose not

to leave

 

this place will not arrive passive

and it will not tether if you happen

to wander away distracted

 

you will never pass over its threshold

if you are convinced that you

are not in need solace

 

if you think that ‘to need’

is something that is weak

 

but sanctuary invites regardless

whispers floating past

and once you tune out the noise

of all that is around, you will

be drawn in by the sound

–of peace

 

and while this is not a place

to live out the rest of your days,

it is nourishment essential

and healing

 

it is always there

if you earnestly seek

and pause often

to respond

 

–choose to find sanctuary often

 

heather pound 2024

Unsplash+In collaboration with Alexander Mils

they walked on dry seabed

between walls of water wet

to safety on the other side

 

and then, but three days later

of wandering in that arid place

they railed at moses saying

 

“this is hopeless,

what will we drink? it was

better before as slaves”

 

and i wonder if God breathed deep

and thought “i held back

the waters miraculous and yet

 

you already do not think

i can sort out water to drink”

and sighed…

 

but not with judgement or disgust

as this human might presume,

but with sadness that his beloved

still carried

these worries

and fears.

 

and even after miraculous deeds

were not free

to trust

 

so he lovingly reminded

them once again

–through water

 

heather pound 2024

Getty Images

your text this morning read

“a little rugged”

and for this i am sorry

–yesterday was rough

 

but the words that followed

thrilled my heart in a way

that only a parent’s could

“but happy”

 

you would think that those

couple of words would be

a bar set low

an expectation of something

….well, often expected

 

but for you, my offspring,

life has had its fair share

of hard knocks

and tides have swept

out, out, out

never really coming back in

 

yet you always stand up

and up

and up again

 

yes, there is sorrow, tears

for things still lost

pain perhaps forthcoming

 

but today you said you are happy

and this is a magnificent thing

 

            —celebrate the wins

 

heather pound 2024

Photo by Moriah Manford on Unsplash

every morning at present

a well-fed, shiny blackbird

perches on the trellis

next to my clothesline

and sings, talks and trills

to his heart’s content

 

it could be about attracting a mate

or a marking of territory thing,

but i choose to believe

that after a good rest and

a meal of bugs and worms

that he finds someplace high up

and sings for pure joy, grateful

just because he can

 

            –embrace joy just because you can, too

 

heather pound 2024

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

i should have known

when the soda bottle cap

rolled across the filthy street

in that overcrowded city

 

and i ran to collect it, shopping bags waving

because i couldn’t get on the subway

with the bottle still open

and the heat was fierce

 

i should have known

when i picked it up, put it right back on top

regardless, and found myself thinking

things like “oh well, if i get sick

at least i’ll have a few full days

to rest…”

 

i should have known

that my wellbeing was teetering

on edge, that burnout

was grasping with bony fingers

imminent

 

i should have known then

—but now i do

 

and i have learned to watch

for signs of warning

much sooner than these

 

            –wherever you are in this wide, wide world

                take care of your own heart, too

 

heather pound 2024

Photo by Akash Dey on Unsplash

on the first day of spring

we left before dawn.

and later the clouds parted

assuring a glorious day of sun

 

as i walked around the racetrack

from pit to grid to the

best place to view the event

over and over again

 

and in between we sipped coffee

nibbled sandwiches in sunbeams

and as you made adjustments

to your car and to those of your friends

 

i read poetry and a crime novel

that built with excitement

as the day flew past lighthearted.

then on the way home

 

we stopped to eat at that diner

you wanted to show me and

driving home we both happily

sighed as dusk nestled in

 

            —a pretty perfect day with you

 

heather pound 2024

i have almost always behaved.

been the good student, daughter

citizen, mother, wife

 a rule follower is me

 

but sometimes i like to

lift the latch, push door open a bit

to peer outside

and think about the walls that restrain

a little bit rebellious

 

just because a barrier is there

does not mean its intentions

are honest

or fair

or reasonable

or even required

 

and the young one still inside

longs to run in the fields free

gather daisies from the grass

unfettered

 

lay down and stare up

at the blue-blue sky

identifying shapes in clouds

as they float on past

 

and this adult version

has the ability to choose, evaluate

decide which rules to follow

and which to discard

 

what was put there for good

what is fixed in value

and what just might be built

upon a foundation of someone else’s fear

 

            –ponderings

heather pound 2024

photo Unsplash+ by Ave Calvar

there she stood

on top of a rubbish heap,

her neighborhood

the city dump

where she lived

in hut formed

of branches and canvas

that blew in wind

and foraged

in what other people

left behind

for sustenance

 

clutching her babe

to her breast

hollow eyed

hair unkempt

trying yet to stand

tall with pride

 

our eyes met

and my heart

breaks now

just as much

as when i was twenty

and saw for the first time

some of the ways

that other humans

must survive

in places many eyes

will never see

 

            –and this still should never be

 

heather pound 2024

Photo by Ravi Sharma on Unsplash

when the hard things swoop in

talons open, beaks ready

to remove the cover, lift the lid

 

and shows you things are not

as safe as they once seemed.

that painful things do happen

to those closer than you’d think

(and maybe even you)

 

you cannot go back in time

shove down experience, re-seal the lid.

 

what’s to be done

once one is aware

that ‘surely not me’

was an illusion,

that there are things waiting

to steal away peace

sudden?

 

perhaps you can find out instead

that even though you tremble

you have the strength to stand

 

even when your voice is soft

you still can speak the words

 

even if your heart is sore

its beat is strong and sure

 

this getting back up

this trying again,

this is the force

that conquers the fear

 

            —resilience

 

heather pound 2024

Photo by Ales Maze on Unsplash