Author: heatherpound

Choice is a precious thing. When we have resources, government or cultural enforced rights, relationships, security and time, we are privileged with choice. Many times we don’t even recognise our privilege. My husband once took a New Zealand based online class while we were living in India. One day he came out of our bedroom shaking his head after an online discussion where the women in the class were up in arms about ways they felt professionally discriminated against in New Zealand. Is there room for improvement there? Of course (my husband thought so too). But sitting in our flat just up the road from brothels where women are trafficked in an impoverished red-light district in Calcutta, the amount of choice available to women in New Zealand seemed impossible, mind-blowing light years away when compared with the experiences of and opportunities available to the women who were our neighbours. A whole different, surreal world somehow coexisting on the same planet. It brought home to us that choice is a gift to be exercised with gratitude and a responsibility with far reaching consequences.

My ‘go to’ piece of marriage advice when asked to write something down at a shower or a wedding is this, “Make it a practice to actively choose your spouse all over again each and every day.” I’m not sure where I first heard that advice but it’s something that I find not only incredibly useful but also wonderfully enriching in my own life and marriage. In her excellent book Made for More, Hannah Anderson suggests in passing that we apply this practice to our relationship with God. It has been such a great focus in my marriage that it jumped off the page and I decided to actively give it a try.

The results have been amazing in a number of different ways! I chose to be a follower of Jesus many years ago and that hasn’t changed, but bringing the act of choosing God into my daily life, even briefly, causes me to consider and embrace a number of things with concrete benefits.

One of the effects of actively choosing God every day that surprised me has been a deeper acceptance of the things that God does. For example, recent seasons of life for our family have included a number of painful situations that have just gone on and on and on. And on. I don’t know about you but I find it hard to let myself be upset or angry with God. I know that he’s bigger and smarter than I will ever be. I firmly believe in his everlasting love and not only in his good intentions for us, but his ability to bring them about. I expect difficulty in this life and am not surprised by it—but sometimes I have to admit that I do have issues with the frequency of trials. Again, Lord? Or the ways some of them streeeeetch on and on. Being a ‘good’ follower of Christ I don’t want to complain and tend to force these thoughts out of my conscious mind, but I really am upset on the inside. Not very authentic, aye!

Choosing God again every day has made me consciously realise that if I choose God about this, the good stuff, then I also have to actively accept that, the things that are hard that I don’t understand or just wish would end. The act of choosing makes me consider the things that I really don’t like and not just shove them down in my heart. Instead with a continued act of choice, I daily take them out and find myself processing and accepting them again for today instead of fighting them. It’s also a good motivator to take a moment and pray and remember just Who is going before us in the battle. “Out of my distress I called on the Lord; the Lord answered me and set me free. The Lord is on my side; I will not fear” (Psalms 118: 5-6, ESV). Challenges produce a lot of good alongside the bad, too, so an opportunity is provided through the choice to acknowledge and lean into the good stuff: the things we are learning, the strength we are gaining, and the progress already made. The byproduct of this just might be some healthy, encouraging, more balanced perspective that keeps us going for the day.

Speaking of good stuff, the habit of daily choosing God creates an opportunity to remember and celebrate ALL that is good about him. And there is soooo much of that! The things that he has accomplished for us in the past; the mountains he has already helped us climb; the things he’s done that might be minor but thrill our hearts nevertheless; the zillions of ways that he has blessed us in the present, not because we deserve them but simply because he loves us; and the future that we can look forward to in him. Stopping to daily choose him also gives us a moment to remind us Who he is: all-powerful, all-knowing, all-wise, and the origin of love itself. After all, “God is love” (I John 4:8). He is our source of love, of peace and is infinitely kind. Forgiveness is so much in his nature that he came and died to make a way for us to be forgiven as well. He is currently as close as the air we breathe through his Holy Spirit that fills us, comforts us and walks us through the process of becoming more like himself. A process that is freedom bringing.

Daily focus on God through choosing him once again creates an attitude of gratitude in our hearts. God has neurologically wired us to benefit from gratitude. Gratitude impacts the hypothalamus which helps regulate sleep and eating patterns. It stimulates parts of the brain that releases dopamine and creates positive thought cycles.* Gratitude produces minds and hearts ready to connect with and worship the King of Kings. “Give thanks to the Lord for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever” (Psalms 136: 1).

Finally, and not by any means least, daily conscious choice of all that God is and does builds an active relationship with our Heavenly Father that nourishes us. It deepens our faith and produces things like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). Since choosing him each new day includes accepting both the obvious good and the painful, it keeps our relationship with him fresh and unencumbered from things inside our hearts that build walls. We all have times where he feels distant and hard to reach, but God who promises to never leave us or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5) does not drift away. If distance happens perhaps it is our own hearts that need to be evaluated. What exactly is off? A daily choosing of him gives God the opportunity to speak softly to our hearts to bring us close. Good times bring us to gratitude and praise and hard times allow us to lean into the Rock that shelters and gives strength.

“and pain has leached the sunlight from your bones.

what will you do with this gift?

— you can make anything from ashes. even beauty.”

-Liezel Graham**

Daily choosing him. Choosing what he brings. And choosing to let him make it into something beautiful. It keeps us in close relationship with him, creates both gratitude and change, produces fruit in our own lives—and allow us to be his fragrance to others. The opportunity of choice is there to consciously and diligently build our lives on him each and every day.

“Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.” (Colossians 2:7)

*Korb, A. (2012). The Grateful Brain. Retrieved from: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/prefrontal-nudity/201211/the-grateful-brain

**Graham, L (2018). Retrieved from: https://www.facebook.com/liezel.graham.writer/

People who choose to spend their lives serving others are often wired to give. And give, and give. Of course, everyone is selfish sometimes, but in general those who have sacrificed to follow a path of service have the ability put others before themselves. While sought after and good, this path is fraught with an ongoing struggle to mindfully walk the fence between giving of one’s self, yet maintaining personal well-being in the process. This delicate, balancing act is key to developing resilience, something I’m passionate about promoting after watching people drop like flies around me from burnout on the mission field and experiencing burnout myself. Those who are inclined to give are not necessarily naturally gifted in looking after themselves.

Recently I read the amazing passage in Romans 12:9-21 where Paul spells out the basics of what it means to live life as a Believer in Christ. It’s so, so good that I’ve given myself a little challenge to re-read it often and to honestly evaluate where I am currently at. Things like: genuinely love, hang out with the lowly, show each other honour, want good things for those who persecute you, don’t think that you’re wise, feed your enemy and don’t repay evil that he may have done to you, and be patient when you’re going through a hard time.

These basics are beautifully summed up in Romans 13 which says, “You shall love your neighbour as yourself. Love does no wrong to a neighbour” (English Standard Version). Basically we can fulfil anything that God wants from us by extending love. Because he created us to be relational beings and this is the best way for us all to not only get along, but live together really, really well. A way that not only is good for those around us but meets the deepest desires within our own hearts. It’s joining in on the Divine dance of who God inherently is. After all, “God is love” (I John 4:8, ESV).

Sometimes it’s good to get back to basics.

It occured to me that a good mark of well-being might be to stop and consider how well we are doing in the love department. Can we love? Are we too tired, too stressed, too fed up with life, too jaded so that we have lost our ability to love? Or god forbid, are we too proud, too caught up with our goals and achievements that we have somehow forgotten love’s value?

Christian psychologist Dr. Caroline Leaf recently posted on Facebook, “Every morning I check my mindset, making sure I start the day off thinking well. I focus on what I’m grateful for and what I’m letting go of. I used to start each day a little negative, thinking about how stressed I am and how much I need to get done. Now I make it a goal to start off the day in a healthy and constructive way. I tell myself that not matter what happens today, it is going to be a great day and I’m going to make every opportunity a learning opportunity.” A great example of how to consciously and mindfully (yes, those are different words, I checked!) live. Living in healthy and helpful ways usually takes paying attention, self-discipline, and mindfully taking stock. I’m not talking about just deciding to love better by sheer force of will, but to give out of an overflow of what is inside us. And even small adjustments to keep our own love tanks filled up in the ways that we do things can go a long way towards producing health and resilience in our own lives while we then love others.

So if the basics of life as a Believer revolve around love, what are the basics of making sure that we have love to give?

Jeremiah 17:8 says, “Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is in the Lord. He is live a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when the heat comes for its leaves remain green and is not anxious in the year of drought for it does not cease to bear fruit” (ESV). This verse is basically a ‘how to’ on removing fear and anxiety. A key to creating longevity and resilience. Growing slowly, steadily, putting out deep and trusting roots into the Water that never runs dry because he is the Source. When we actively submit ourself in the process of growing strong though him we can love through his love, walk in his wisdom, live in his strength. I don’t know where the saying came from but, “When the roots are deep, there is no reason to fear the wind.”

On the first Sunday of Advent this year our pastor talked about expectation in the waiting. At the end of the service every family was given the opportunity to take a pot and plant a bulb to watch it grow through this season. I have only recently become successful at keeping plants alive(!) so I decided to take this process seriously. It’s been a surprisingly meaningful experience to watch this plant on my windowsill flourish as I think about expectation in the waiting. Bit by bit. Day by day. Only three weeks ago it was just a bulb and now it looks like this:

I can’t visibly see it grow in the moment, but clearly growing it is. And it will eventually blossom! Our lives are like a plant. Seemingly imperceptible growth at times, but with sun and water our roots will become steadily nourished by the good soil of our Creator. But we also have to keep him as our Source.

We’ve all heard, “I can do all thing through him who strengthens me” (Phil. 4:14, ESV). We can use that almost as an excuse to mindlessly just ‘keep on keepin’ on.’  Sometimes we forget the verses that come before, however, that talk about knowing how to live in various different circumstances, good and bad, easy and difficult and yet finding strength. Banning Liebscher says in his book “Rooted” (He is American so don’t giggle at that word, Kiwis!), “When we put, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” in context, we see that Paul was saying, “I’ve had seasons in life where I’ve had nothing and sessions where I’ve had everything. I’ve developed the ability to thrive in both seasons by learning to access the resource that never changes, no matter the season, namely, Christ’s strength.

Similarly, when you read the Psalms, you find David spoke about all kinds of circumstances, ranging from celebratory to terrifying. He wrestled with impossibilities, fear, heartbreak, disappointment, betrayal, anger, and grief. But every time, the wrestling drove him back to the source of his strength: God. And every time David accessed that strength, whether in the field, a house, a cave, or a castle, it led to his thriving.”

And isn’t that what we need to keep giving of ourselves for others in this life? We need strength to not just survive, but thrive. God is our Source of strength–but sometimes we forget to prioritise him in the wrestling only to find ourselves depleted and dry. Just like a healthy plant slowly grows, the ‘plant’ of our lives gradually becomes parched and desperate for Living Water.

God is the Source of strength that we access to be a conduit of love for others. But we also need that love ourselves. Romans 8 says, “Who shall seperate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger or sword? No in all things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, or angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord” (vs. 35, 37-39, ESV). That promise is one of my favourites in the Bible! His love will never not be available to us. NOTHING and no outside force can make it go away.

If the basics of our faith in relationship to humanity is to walk in love, perhaps a simple and useful barometer of our well-being is to intentionally and regularly examine how well we’re doing just that. Can we love? How well are we doing with the people in our lives? Mindfully and carefully keeping track of the ‘love’ barometer can go a long ways toward creating resilience for the long-haul in our lives. That outward check can clue us into the early warning signs of an internal lack. Finding the balance of being filled ourselves first is key to the ongoing resilience that we all need to keep on giving. “Love your neighbour as yourself.”

Are we not able to love as a basic expression of our faith? Have we been tapping into our Source? Are there things we’re expecting of ourselves that God hasn’t actually asked of us? Are there ways we’re unrealistically trying to be superhuman and not nourishing ourselves before we try to pass nourishment along to others? Are we ignoring and shoving down pain? Have we been lax about stopping and connecting with the never-ending love that God has for us? He hasn’t gone anywhere, but have we?

I don’t believe that this process is a ‘pass or fail’ exercise. It’s not meant to be guilt producing–but freedom bringing. The ongoing process of mindful evaluation helps us grow stronger as we tap into the Source of love and strength that will never run dry. If we’re struggling, and let’s be honest we all do, maybe the output isn’t matching the input and we need to take a break or find a different pace.

We can’t pour from an empty cup.

On Friday our son-in-law, Jacob, left a job site during his workday and took a route  past Hagley Park in Christchurch. His day and life changed forever when he drove meters away from the man who was still actively shooting people who wore traditional Muslim dress as the shooter left the Al Noor Mosque in Christchurch. It took Jacob’s brain a while to believe what his eyes were seeing and he, like other bystanders, sprang into action trying to save the lives of those still living. Jacob saw horrific things in the aftermath, but he, unlike those who dressed differently in the same circumstance, went home safe. (And I am so glad that he did!)

Right before we met yesterday (Sunday), they added another candle. The forty-nine dead from the attack on the Christchurch mosques had just become fifty. Our pastor asked fifty people to come and light a candle. What seemed far too many people went forward—but when they were finished there were still candles unlit and more people were needed.

Fifty, it turns out, is quite a lot.

Someone else read the beautiful prayer that is the New Zealand National Anthem. It speaks of diversity and unity, peace not war, faithfulness and love (really, it’s amazing!). This time, however, I was caught by words near the end that I hadn’t focused on before, ‘Let our cause be just and right.’

As the service continued the phrase echoed around in my head. This is truly a time to actively evaluate what is ‘just and right.’ Not because our cultural background, our present discourse, our personal theology, or our unconscious assumptions say so. Not just what our friends think or what our family taught us: but what is ‘just’ and what is ‘right. I think that each of us is likely deceived if we think we have 100% got the corner of the market on either of those. And dialogue breaks down when we think that we do.

After all the Christchurch shooter thought that he was just and right, too.

I know of no better way to look for what is just and right than to turn to the words of the Prince of Peace:

“One of their religion scholars spoke for them, posing a question they hoped would show him up: “Teacher, which command in God’s Law is the most important?”

 Jesus said, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence.’ This is the most important, the first on any list. But there is a second to set alongside it: ‘Love others as well as you love yourself.’ These two commands are pegs; everything in God’s Law and the Prophets hangs from them.”           (Matthew 22: 36-40, The Message).

Many translations of this verse say, “Love your neighbor as yourself,” sparking a broad range of discussion about who is my neighbor. Jesus answers this question clearly, however, in Luke 10:25-37 when a religious scholar asks him how to gain eternal life. Jesus answers a question with a question:

“What’s written in God’s Law? How do you interpret it?” (vs.26).

The scholar answers Jesus almost word for word with Jesus’ summary of the law written in Matthew.

“Good answer!” said Jesus. “Do it and you’ll live.” (vs. 28).

As human nature has before that and since, the man asked the pivotal question, “And just how would you define ‘neighbor’?” (vs. 29). Jesus replied with the confronting parable of The Good Samaritan where two different religious leaders walk right past a man who was beaten, robbed and injured on the side of the road. Who stopped to help him? His cultural and political enemy who not only picked him up, tended his wounds and carried him to a safe place, but gave financially for his continued care. Jesus ends the story by saying:

What do you think? Which of the three became a neighbor to the man attacked by robbers?”

 “The one who treated him kindly,” the religion scholar responded.

Jesus said, “Go and do the same.” (vs. 36-37).

I have to admit that I have yet to learn the name of the man who killed fifty people a few days ago. In fact, there is an honorable sounding movement in New Zealand to not give him the fame that he clearly desires by learning his name, but to learn the names of the fallen instead. But guess who has publicly come out with a message of forgiveness? Farid Ahmed, a Muslim man whose wife was murdered at the mosque on Friday. Mr. Ahmed has chosen to love his enemy because that is what he feels like his wife would have wanted.

‘Let our cause be just and right.’

Of course the shooter must be prosecuted and punished for the safety of society, but I am challenged to see Brenton Tarrant (I looked it up) as a flawed and hurt human being. Of course, laws must be evaluated and procedures reviewed to do things even better if, God forbid, there is another incident, but we also must take up the challenge as individuals to be the healing in a society that produces men like Brenton.

Jacob, my son-in-law and a Follower of Jesus, chose to spend the day after witnessing things no one should ever have to see by intentionally agreeing to be interviewed–because he wanted to spread a message of love. And guess what he did yesterday? He went back to Hagley Park, made friends with an Australian Muslim man named Ayman who was sent to assist with the handling of the bodies for burial. Jacob said, “Today Ayman and I did somewhat of a pilgrimage together as we ate kebabs, walked around the Hagley Park memorial and talked about our families, lives, faiths, trauma and much more.”

“Let our cause be just and right.”

I won’t deny that thousands of Christians were killed in 2018 by Muslim extremists (not the world-wide Muslim majority, but extremists). Does that make me justly angry? Absolutely. But so does fifty Muslims killed by a pseudo ‘Christian’ extremist. We are all souls created in the Image of God. And a person doesn’t have to even remotely believe the same things that I do to be my neighbor.

One of my favorite songs right now says this:

“If we’re gonna fight
Let’s fight for each other
If we’re gonna shout
Let love be the cry
We all bleed the same
So tell me why, tell me why
We’re divided”                                                                                                                                         -Mandisa

I do not expect to ever be a leader on a large scale. I will never write policy, I will never implement governmental change. But I have learned that the BEST and most influential way to change the world is through love, strengthened through Christ’s love, one person at a time. Simply because we are all Imago Dei–made in the image of God. The far reaching impact of love, one by one, not based on race, color, creed or gender will change the world. I think that’s  ‘just and right’ and exactly what the Prince of Peace has in mind.

And I continue to evaluate what is ‘just and right’ in my own thinking today.

 

 

 

 

 

 

At nearly fifty I’m back in school—and loving it! Some of us need time to figure out what we really want to study. 🙂 This week in one class we talked about the concept of perichoresis. That’s basically a fancy word to talk about the Trinity; the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, and how they relate to each other.

“At the center of the universe, self-giving love is the dynamic currency of the trinitarian life of God….When the early Christians spoke of perichoresis in God, they meant that each divine person harbors the others at the center of his being. In a constant movement of overture and acceptance, each person envelops and encircles the others.”                (Cornelius Plantinga, “Engaging God’s Word”)

It’s sometimes referred to as the Divine Dance bringing to mind the incandescent swirling of light, unconditional acceptance, and love. The point is that God is complete and perfect in Himself. He already has all the fellowship He needs. If He ‘needs’.

I’m not sure where, but somewhere along the way I’ve picked up the concept (mostly subconsciously) that God made the Earth and mankind because He was lonely. Adam was lonely so God made his wife Eve (Genesis 2:20), but nowhere in Scripture that I know of does it say that God created because He was lonely. He was already perfectly complete in Himself.

“To speak plainly, from eternity God has had a communal life and didn’t need to create a world to get one. Nothing internal or external to God compelled him to create….Creation was neither a necessity nor an accident.  Instead, given God’s interior life that overflows with regard for others, we might say creation is an act that was fitting for God.”   (Plantinga, again!)

Picture that. A God so perfectly complete in Himself that Creation is an overflowing abundance of Who He is. I don’t know about you, but that slight shift in thinking makes a subtle difference in how I relate to God. You see, He doesn’t need us. He loves us, created us and welcomes us into the Divine Dance that is all of Him, but He doesn’t need our companionship for His own fulfillment. We don’t have to guiltily come to Him in prayer because He’s lonely, so we don’t need to feel like we’ve let Him down when we don’t. We are simply extended an invitation to take part and because of the inclusive hospitality of Who He is, He is joyful when we join in.

Join in with Perfect Love.

That slight shift also changes Easter and what Jesus did for us on the cross. Since He doesn’t actually need us, He didn’t need to die to restore us to Him for His sake. He did it solely because He is extreme love for OURS…..

Let that soak in.

This morning I went to a lovely meditative Good Friday service that brought home again what Jesus went through on the day He died.  And what He went through on the cross. Pilate washed his hands (Matthew 27:24) saying that he was innocent of what the crowd was demanding happen next, his crucifixion. That Jesus’ blood being shed wasn’t His fault.

(Spoiler: It was ALL of our faults, including Pilate.)

The Perfect Lamb was led to be slaughtered, not because he was desperate to draw us back into relationship with Him FOR Himself——but for the extension and inclusion of Perfect Love pouring out of Who He is. He is goodness itself.

At the end of the service we were given the chance to light a tea light, to kneel and place it at the foot of the cross. As all of those lights flickered and danced in the dark I thought again about perichoresis.  All of those lights representing individuals in my community dancing together at the foot of the cross. Included. Because of the cross.

Yet He still loves us individually. In His immeasurable creativity He made each of us uniquely valuable. He offers us relationship with Himself, one priceless person at a time.

And unlike the version of the Bible I saw once in a place where the Bible was censored, it doesn’t end with the death of Jesus. Because Jesus didn’t just take the deserved punishment for all the evil in the world onto Himself and die, He defeated evil and death—-and rose!

Esther. The perfect gift of perfectly, self-less love.

Click here to watch an amazing video about more of Who He is!—–> That’s My King

A couple of nights ago our cat brought a mouse inside and upstairs through her cat door. This was not the gift of adoration to her humans that you may presume as she has a habit of bringing in things, not for us, but for her to ‘play’ with (i.e. terrorize!): little lizards, tiny frogs, butterflies. The night she brought the mouse in my son, Adam, and I ended up in the living room trying to be quiet but somewhat hysterically laughing at 2am as two beady eyes and ears peeped out of the Christmas tree where it had noisily tried to hide. We popped the tree outside as neither one of us relished the idea of a quick grab into the branches, shut the door and expected that to be the end of that. But more frantic squeaking and cat dashing around and slamming into doors a couple of hours later made us realize that the mouse had slipped away in the darkness to parts of the house unknown.

Fast forward a couple of nights later. Steve was away and I was alone in our bedroom. I had been in dreamland for just about an hour when a very small mouse began to make a quite tremendous noises dashing, scrambling, clawing and climbing. I flicked on the light and that settled things down for a bit, but the mouse must have been quite hungry by then and the roaming continued. All night long. And I didn’t sleep. At all.

The next afternoon when I yawned and thought about the night before, it hit me. After years in the developing world I’m not very scared of rodents. While I don’t like them we’ve ended up cohabiting for periods despite my best efforts otherwise. So a mouse in my room was irritating, but didn’t make the adrenaline flow and thoroughly wake me up. I just tolerated it.

That afternoon I realized the idiot that I’d been as there had been one entire other bedroom free that night as well as the couch right out in the living room. If I’d used my brain just a tiny bit more for a solution, I could have easily slept! While the cat is not allowed in our room at night, I could also have let her in and she would have had no trouble scouting out the irritant. So many options were there but I just lay restlessly passive and let the little intruder steal my rest away.

How often do we do that? Passively exist while letting little things steal our peace, our joy, our zest for life and most destructively our hope? When life gets to be too much and we grow numb because we haven’t taken the time or effort for the connection back to our Creator.

I don’t know about you but I get upset at God. I don’t consciously think I am, but when days go by where I let my glance graze my Bible but don’t pick it up, or when the thought of sitting still to look inside makes me feel like I can’t breathe so I hop right back up again into busy; it’s going on.

Instead of finding peace, joy and rest, I sit there numb and let the rodent disturb.

Ridiculous, aye?

I suppose what holds us back can be a form of pride. Part of me sometimes thinks, “I’ve got this, thank you very much.” Or at least this little bit and later a little bit more until I falter under the load. Or it can be a lack of trust, “I’m not sure that YOU’VE got this, God.” Or fear that we won’t be able to handle what we find there, “I’m not sure You’re big enough, God, or that I’m valuable enough for You to help.” Or down right idolatry, because that’s putting anything else on the seat where God alone should dwell.

One thing I’ve come to believe about the human heart and spirit is that the place in there that we just don’t want to go—–is right where we should purposefully make our way to if we want to live free. And free is a place that’s actually so much easier to be no matter how insurmountable the mountains may seem that it takes to get there.

Martin Luther King Jr said, “Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” That very first step can be the hardest, too.

Taking that first step can just be sitting with it: that thing that you want to avoid at all costs. It already IS so let it be present. You never solve anything by running away from it. It will come back to bite you. every. single. time.

I want to believe that eventually this lesson of not just passively letting the intruder do it’s worse gets easier, but I think that it’s one of those life long journey things that we have to take stock of and remind ourselves over and over and over yet again. So far it is for me anyway! I wrote this several years ago and rediscovered it the other day, proof that the lesson is ongoing:

“Why is it so hard to fall to my knees
When I’m overwhelmed, tired, and don’t know where to go?
Well, I do know where, it’s to Him
But somehow while I feel His presence I’m only scratching the surface
I reach out with grasping fingers but miss the fullness of His hand

I want to dive right in, the water is fine
I know He’s there yet my bent knees won’t take that final spring
They won’t dive into the water and they won’t kneel in prayer
Distracted, restless, still trying to do it on my own
Or maybe just too tired to move at all

Why is it so hard to fall to my knees
When I long for Him, ache for Him, need His strength in my limbs?
Need Him so much that I cannot even kneel on my own
Need Him to draw me in, I want to bow
Bow in His presence, rest in His glory

Anxiety, really the art of disbelief
Distracted, restless, not fully living
Puffs up the ‘self’, makes me think I’m ‘doing something’
What a waste of time, keeping me at half mast
You’d think I would have learned this by now

Why is it so hard to fall to my knees
When His hands are there to catch my fall?
When the very essence of love is etched in His smile?
When His tender compassion envelopes me fully?
When His all-powerful, all-knowing Self is absolutely trustworthy?

Silly, stubborn, wayward girl
Get on your knees
Just fall”

The effort of progressing in this lesson is worth it, however, no matter how many times it takes. After all our job in the journey isn’t what’s ahead, it’s what we do with the now. And with that thought here are a couple of ‘hope’ verses to remind us that He’s got this in the long run and that we can trust Him to sit still and grapple with the current intruders in our hearts.

This isn’t called the ‘silly season’ for nothing. In the U.S. it’s mostly the craziness of just finishing Thanksgiving and moving right along to all things Christmas. In New Zealand it’s also the end of the school year and the final push before summer holidays. Lots going on, lots to do for all of us!

Yesterday I drove our boys down to the mall to get their Christmas shopping done before it gets even more busy. While zooming around on a mission to tick things off my list, I walked by a lady sitting at a small portable table beside a Christmas tree. My eye caught the word ‘Hospice’ and after my feet walked about ten more paces, my brain registered the word and I spun to go back. Hospice is something that will now forever be close to my heart as they just walked beside my folks in the last months of my dad’s life. And he had just been gone to Heaven a couple of hours shy of two weeks at that moment. I put what cash I had into a bucket, silently wrote a note to my dad on a paper shaped like an ornament, and put it on the tree.

I almost missed what I think was one of the most meaningful-to-me things that I’ll do this Christmas. A reminder of how two realms collide. One I can see and one I cannot. One where life gets hectic and is frequently painful and one where there is peace, hope and everlasting joy. My dad was just here—and now he’s there.

Kind of like a baby who did just the opposite and came from there to here and a manger so many years ago.

It’s a reminder to stop looking so much at the here and now. And while we need to process it and deal with it, to stop letting ourselves be ruled by hurt and pain. To stop looking so much at the problem and remember the Solution.

“Gaze at Me; glance at problems….Your tendency is to gaze at the problems for prolonged periods of time, glancing at Me for help.”  -Sarah Young

A couple of verses come to mind about this:

“Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of our faith…” Hebrews 12:2

“Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you..” Psalm 55:22

‘Fix’ and ‘cast’ are action verbs. They demonstrate force and mindful intent, not passivity. They require intellectual determination and discipline to do. They inspire mental pictures of the doing. “Fix” those eyes unwavering to a Worthy Face no matter what else is attracting your gaze. “Cast” that burden with all your might over your shoulder and let it go.

They are choices of mindfulness that have long reaching impact on our minds, hearts and spirits. They are actions that cause consequences–good ones! They are a step of faith that place our trust in God, not in our own strength and abilities. The Creator God is so much stronger and smarter than I am! He it trustworthy. He is kind.

God answers with action verbs of His own like:

“The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace.” (Psalm 29:11)

“I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10)

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son.” (John 3:16)

The Bible is FULL of action verbs like these. Full of promises from the One who is always faithful.

So in this season let’s not be passively bustled along. Let’s actively ‘fix our eyes’ on Him and ‘cast (our) cares.’ Let’s not miss the secret moments that make this season and the rest of the year worthwhile.

Immanuel. God with us. He’s here—and the veil between what we can see and what we cannot see is thin.