Heather Pound

there was a time when i had

forgotten how to sing

[perhaps you have forgotten too]

 

my voice became softer and quiet

until finally at last it stilled

except for the rare occasion

when something guttural and deep

released a note or two

 

i remember the echoing silence

and the raspy feeling when i opened

my mouth and nothing poured forth

dry

 

i was a singer from the time i was born

even before my first uttered word

natural in the music and the dance

 

when i try to pinpoint the moment exact

of when my song was stilled—

i think of a particular dark night  

where i sat and wept and held onto

the thought that joy comes sure

with morning’s light

 

this thought–

it got me through

many nights

such as these

 

until that chapter was closed at last

and i realised then that i held the pen

to rewrite

to invent

start afresh

learn again

to show up each and every day

released

 

and in the quiet of the moment

i noticed the rhythm

the beat

the drum

the sound of my very own heart

 

and a melody not altogether different–yet new

was stirred within my soul

and i cleared my throat

 

—and sang

[if it happened to me

you might experience it too]

 

Heather Pound 2024

Photo by Matthew Jungling on Unsplash

i used to wear certainty like armour tight

feeling as if this was an anchor required

before I went out into the wide-wide world

dropped in place solid

 

but i discovered realistically

that an anchor impedes the actual journey

for when it is dropped down tight

–we go nowhere at all

 

and i realised that if I wanted to look back later

with stories to tell

then an open heart

a couple of cleaned out ears

and eyes prepared to see

were necessary

 

and on the journey i beheld various kinds of things

and listened into the experience vast that

many others bring

 

there were times of confusion—and often are still–

but as i opened arms wide to embrace

i learned and grew in ways worth knowing

and my heart’s ability to care did not shrink

–it expanded

and my brain’s ability to reason and wrestle

with truths or lies

what is light or dark

–deepened

 

and as i look back after numerous years traversed

a multitude of places visited

both glorious mountain peaks high

and freezing altitudes low

 

i realise that the certainty of my youth

has tempered with experience

and that a heart that thought itself wise before

had much to learn indeed

and it is in the posture of a listener

that wisdom is discovered

 

—there is much richness found in examining the perspective of others that would be lost if we never venture out to listen  

Photo by Morten Hornum on Unsplash

now is the time do not delay

this is the day for something new

for freedom to begin

for the life that you live

to become the one you choose

 

focus on the depths of what is

keeping your heart stagnant

what is this saying

why is this here

 

now is the time to address things like fear

to stare down its eyes of bloodshot red

–it does not know more than you

cannot the future see

no matter what it says

 

all it will do is to hijack your now

stealing precious energy and time

that is better spent with thoughts that

will encourage and expand

 

now is the time to not be afraid of sad

to let it rear its longing mouth up to the air

to breathe

 

sadness is the lack of something precious

so give it the air it needs

to say what it needs to say

feel what it needs to feel

for it would prefer to trundle off to the place

of healing rather than sit cold and alone in the dark

its intentions not evil but good

 

now is the time to face down the giants that have

blocked your path for far-far too long

now is the time to see them for what they are

now is the time to fight

 

and you o-weary-one

have more strength left within

than you realise 

 

Heather Pound 2024

Photo by Matthew Henry on Unsplash

God and i had a conversation

that felt a little one-sided

where i went on and on

about all of the things

i needed him to fix

and change

or at least help me

to feel better about

or understand even

 

i asked him why he was

moving so slow

why things had happened

in the first place

and where was he at the time

anyway

 

when i finally came to an end

breathless and turned 

to meet his gaze

i wondered how a face could

weep with sorrow and be so

full of  lovingly peaceful joy

at the very same time

 

and all he said was:

i hear you

and just trust me

 

if this has not turned into

something beautiful or good

then i have not finished yet

 

—hold on to the light

 

Heather Pound 2024

Photo by Eugene Golovesov on Unsplash

we wander through grass to table cement

and we sit on the same side

watching seagulls whirl on wind

above green-green hills and sparkling sea

 

and you talk—and i listen

soaking in your thoughts

and later we philosophize

until you walk around to other side

and lay long-tall frame down on bench

with sighs

 

and all i can see is nose and eyes shut face

peering above table between

and you talk—and i listen

and i smell the grass and feel the breeze

 

and at this time there is no place else

on God’s green earth that i would choose to be

breathing soft in moment fully present

moving little lest you young colt

should startle and bolt spirited

 

and you talk—and i listen

the treasure of mothering grown-up son

and you talk—and i listen thankful

and my heart fills brim-full to running over

with peace

 

Heather Pound 2024

you must

[notice this please–i did not say should but must]

you must offer understanding to all of the versions of you

all the various you’s that you recall

 

stop holding them to that standard

that you expect of the one today

judging them now with older and wiser eyes

blaming them for what they did and did not do

the places they failed or caused you pain

when they were only young

 

instead be the kindest of kind

offer them a seat on the sofa comfy

pillow plumped behind back

feet raised

hot cocoa cup in hand

 

thank them one by one for all the adventures

you have journeyed together—and the things

that they practiced long and taught

 

perhaps you will be inspired again

by their youthful flair

by feet that used to twirl

costume sorted audience or not

 

celebrate their innocence and naiveite

that allowed them to believe the best

of everyone they met

you have things to learn from them

they have wisdom too

 

be especially kind to the mother of children young

doing the best that she knew how with no knowledge

of roads and curves that lay ahead

 

offer tenderness to the version that hurt

that absorbed and held much pain

she did this to allow the rest of you

to function

carry on

 

this one

that one

and all the ones in-between

 

they are important

they matter

they have led to who you are

they are welcome here one and all

and are loved

 

Heather Pound 2024

Photo by Scott Higdon on Unsplash

i always imagined that i would one day be

cool, calm and collected, serene,

with my self-consciousness completely

expired—and sometimes i am

 

but more often than not i find myself

a little bit restless, a little bit frazzled,

the one who trips over the crack

in sidewalk known or drops a fork

on the floor loud in the middle of the

wedding speech

 

but now when all eyes turn towards me,

i find i am not as bothered as back

when i was younger still

 

because i remember things like

how much my children belly laugh

and smile at the memory of me

falling face first on soft turf,

thankfully unharmed–but

unable to get up for a moment

on account of laughter

ringing raucous and free

 

i have learned that it really does not matter

that i am seldom calm, cool and collected

because life is unpredictable and

it’s better to embrace me

 

the genuine version that usually fidgets

too much when everyone else sits still

because genuine i respect in others

and is all i can authentically be.

 

—there is a deep and lasting freedom that comes with authenticity and your authenticity encourages others to relax as well

Heather Pound 2024

Photo by Jez Timms on Unsplash

do you ever look in the mirror and wonder

wonder about where you’ve come from

from which ancestor did you inherit

that exact tilt of nose

the mischievous glint in eye

that aversion to sauerkraut strong

 

a tapestry of possibilities

that narrowed down, down, down

to become–you

 

there might be nothing new under the sun

in general

but there has never before been this exact

combination of you

 

the way you walk and talk

your particular set of talents or weakness

your formative history, relationships that

have influenced

 

lifelong stories collected that dance around

and intertwine as your opinions form

what makes you laugh or smile

what interests hold your mind

 

there has never before been

and will never ever be again–

a more you version of you

 

please recognise that you, my friend

are one of a kind, the rarest of rare

an undeniable original signed

 

take yourself out into the world

and treat yourself with all the  

respect, tenderness and care

that you require

 

and remember to appreciate

the details of other

masterpieces too

 

Heather Pound 2024

Photo by AARN GIRI on Unsplash

roll down the windows of life

and let the sun stream in

who cares if it tangles your hair

if it makes eyes water even

 

let freedom barge in with the breeze

allow eyes to gleam as they soak in the view

face to face rather than behind glass protective

 

live your life, experience it, cherish the day

chase meaning and purpose absolutely

but do not forget to also have fun

–a balance of the two is a flavourful recipe

to life

 

live your life as a series of today

one day of focus at a time

and gather in close all of the produce that

your tended garden of choice has to offer

 

for there is beauty breath-taking

belly-laughter to participate in

moments of peace to enjoy

and love beyond comprehension

 

this is the offering, the feast available

the nourishment for a soul who

desires to live well

 

and if you have survived on crumbs

for far, far too long

then muster all of your courage

and roll down the windows wide

 

Heather Pound 2024

Photo by frank mckenna on Unsplash

all those niggling worries and deeply felt fears

that you have carried for far, far too long

have mostly come to nothing

 

i remind you gently of this

there are things in your grasp and

things that are not and most of your worries

fall into the latter

 

perhaps this is because they are beyond

your control

things you cannot foresee

 

you are strong but it is okay

to lay these things down

unlike atlas the world entire

is just too much to bear

 

so let it go

be free

take back only what is yours

and then instead of worrying

foster them gently

 

hold them up to the Light and wisdom for them seek

they are there to help you grow in ways needed

like the basil in my garden flourishing tall

 

but all the rest—they will just tear you down

squash you into something small

shatter your wellbeing

 

i wish i had known this eons ago

but you are a single cup

just a small thing really

and all you need to do

is to keep your cup filled

running over even

 

this cup that is you

is all you need to be

and worry has no place

within your porcelain frame

 

Heather Pound 2024

Photo by Michael Gusev on Unsplash