Heather Pound

i do not need to defend you,

giver of life, bringing of peace,

because you can stand on your

 

own two feet, and have been

doing this far longer than i have

been in existence.

 

but i do implore you, beseech,

that you show yourself both kind

and strong to this person i love

 

who needs your light and life

and right now, thinks that you

are but a dopamine rush in

my brain and do not really

exist.

 

you have chosen to make yourself

un-seeable, unexplainable

 

and this generation who have witnessed

hypocrisy indeed in the frame of your name,

have chosen science and things proven

as their source of wisdom and truth.

 

and while i can’t blame them really,

i also cannot deny the presence of

things that cannot be seen

 

because you have made known to me

impossible peace and joy in the midst

of the worst that life has to offer,

 

you have walked beside me as i

drank from streams of life and love

and joy,

 

you have been my light in dark places

and put strength within my bones,

 

my companion constant.

you have never let me go.

 

as you have done for me and still

every day do, please shine your light

in a way that cannot be

explained or missed

 

and let this heart tattered

understand that you will do this

for them too.

 

–i have chosen to generally use my writing in a broad, less in-your-face way, but this is who i am, too, and this is what my heart needed to say today. 

 

Heather Pound 2023

Photo by David Clode on Unsplash

Photo by David Clode on Unsplash

too many distractions that have

become habits keep your mind

from embracing the space that

it requires

 

crowding in and taking over like

the buzzing of a full hive bees

 

adding in one by one

until it becomes a roar insistent

 

while your heart

whispers fervent

for peace.

 

only you can cut off these things

and make space for your heart

to speak once again.

 

this may be painful at first,

allowing space for the unpleasant,

 

but is a process less painful

than the shoving down of all

things big and small that plead

for your attention

 

until your heart like the house

of a hoarder messy becomes,

one teetering tower away from

disaster imminent.

 

so, take steps in the present, today

to listen to your ever-beating heart,

 

for whether you are aware of it or

not, it is the source of all things

true, the essence of who you are

and it will be heard,

one way

or another.

 

Heather Pound 2023

Photo by Esteban Abalsa on Unsplash

slow. slowdown that part of you that

always waits for the next moment

and the next.

 

breathe in the air of sea,

feel the sand beneath your feet,

the sun on skin, the sound of

waves and wind.

 

and let those thoughts

that belong to tomorrow

blow away on the breeze.

 

you will have much more

strength for them then

if you embrace the peace

that is at hand today.

 

Heather Pound 2023

Photo by Arusfly 🐋 on Unsplash

how can i explain to you

the dizzying disorientation

that I feel

 

as we sit here in the present

talking about a topic that is

well and good

 

but for me it triggers and

takes me out of today into

time past

 

and my body, while perfectly

safe right now, remembers

a story different.

 

and even as my lips move

i am breathing in deep and

slow

 

reminding myself that i am

here and now and that i

am secure.

 

i feel the fabric of the sofa

beneath my fingers and i

scan the room.

 

even though this sounds

unpleasant, and it is, i have

dealt with this long.

 

and while this would have

sent me reeling in the past,

feeling like my

 

body itself betrayed and would

send me to my bed shivering

for the day,

 

i am now more swiftly aware,

more armed with the thoughts

that will remind me

 

that my body is my friend and

i appreciate its attempts to

protect

 

and whisper to it my thanks but its

vigilance in this moment is not

required

 

and most of the time this relationship

with ptsd goes unnoticed now by

everyone but me.

 

–when you have been strong through trauma and/or difficult circumstances for far too long without the opportunity to recover so your nervous system begins to slip too easily into fight, flight or freeze very much overreacting in the present moment, you may develop ptsd. if this is not you, please understand that for some that this is a very real issue and that just getting on with it is not an option. they need space, time and support to heal. if this is you, please know that there is support out there and that the out-of-control-ness that you feel now, does not mean it will be that way forever.

Heather Pound 2023

Photo by Johannes Plenio on Unsplash

i am certain my cat

can read my mind

because as soon as

i think the thought

that i must get up

from chair, into my

lap she climbs

 

saying, “wait a little

longer, tarry. do

not rush into your

day. stay right here

with me, commune

in peace.”

 

and often, if my

schedule permits,

i listen to her wisdom

ancient for a time.

 

 

Heather Pound 2023

Photo by Green_Katsuto on Unsplash

i thought that i had forgiven you

many trips around the sun ago,

but today i discovered a niggle,

a little pest folded within a thought.

 

because wherever you are in this

moment, i cannot wish you well

without a pause and a clench in

my teeth through a smile.

 

surprised by this notion disingenuous,

i pause.

 

and discover that the wounds written

with your name once again need

a bit of gardening.

 

i am so deeply tired of this process

so truly disappointed that i must

once again think of you and prick

the sore so it can breathe.

 

i want to be done with this

but know the only way i can

truly be free, is to minister to

this pain, this anger once again.

 

even though i will never forget,

the ripples are too wide and lasting,

i can let go, choose to forgive

 

as many times as required

until my heart is at peace.

 

 

Heather Pound 2023

Photo by Ben Wicks on Unsplash

while the storm may roar around

it does not need to rage within

because you, cognizant creation,

have the ability sift through the

damage being done, evaluate,

shore up and reach out to all

you know that will bring

you peace,

intentional.

 

so, take the time and space

to see, to act. you do not

have to just endure

the tempest.

 

Heather Pound 2023

Photo by Fer Nando on Unsplash

i cannot begin to fathom

why i was born me

and you were born you,

 

my sister in humanity as

we ride beside each other

on transport public

 

in your own country.

i did nothing to earn

my seemingly privileged

 

position, not wealthy in

my own land but incredibly

so in yours. yet who is to say

 

that you are not privileged in

matters of consequence greater.

i do not know your life, your story,

 

and you do not know mine.

so, right now we will sit here quiet

and gift each other with met eyes

 

and occasional soft smiles as we ride.

because even though we live

worlds apart we are both human,

 

both women, this,

our universal bond 

regardless of the rest.

Heather Pound 2023

Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash

that thing that tries to stifle,

control, to frankly ruin your life,

i will tell you this in truth

–it lies.

 

this habit that used to help

you manage, numb or

somehow grasp control

is no longer serving you

at all,

 

and you have suspected for

quite some time that you

are presently subservient

to it–instead.

 

addiction is a monstrous

taskmaster and if you do not

confront its favorite weapon

‘denial’ and throw heart and

soul into facing   

your giant bold,

 

that hurt, that experience

the ogre that started

the pattern that you

were always desperately

trying to escape from,

 

then addiction will

likely win.

 

and i for one, would

weep if this the case

becomes, for i have

seen this devastation

up close, to the person

–and to everyone they love.

 

but i firmly believe you possess

intrinsic tools that support. and  

a source of strength supreme

that has been submerged,

 

forgotten, but is waiting

to rise to the service to

enable you for such a

time as this.

 

and now is the time to rail

against all that which

lies, take your stand,

and begin the fight of

your life.

 

because that is exactly

what is at stake,

the battle to take back

the rest of your days.

 

and do not be discouraged

if the path forward is one

that zigs and zags. as you keep

your goal of freedom in

 

sight on the horizon,

the zigs will lesson and

the zags will only correct

your path but a little bit.

 

and i believe that you

can do this

 

and that your life will ring

bright and full and joyful

with the sound of healing

and freedom.

 

—if you or anyone you care about is fighting addiction, then this is for you–with love.

Photo by Jordan Whitfield on Unsplash

the scene changed in an instant

from one of trepidation, doubt

to a vision of anticipation of

things to come.

 

it is amazing how a single adjustment

in attitude or thought can make

all the difference, even when

nothing else really changes.

 

from one breath to the next

a whole world of possibility

reborn.

 

Heather Pound 2023

Photo by Catalin Pop on Unsplash