Heather Pound

what must he have thought as the rooster crowed
and the memory came of words recently spoken
that he would deny not once, not twice
but thrice

certain of his devotion, upon his own his strength 
claiming he never-ever 
would falter…

…but then the rooster crowed 
when faced with mortal fear, alone

and failure 
pierced his soul

then he fled away to weep 
humanity confirmed
needy, broken, fragile heart 
(like yours, like mine)
now seen…

yet later, as ‘the rock’ he would become  
he admitted his blind spots
was open to change  

since the crux of his pride tearfully
painfully  
	unforgettably 
washed away 

on the night of his deepest shame

	--our biggest failings often lead 
   to our greatest strengths

heather pound 2025

Photo by Marco J Haenssgen on Unsplash

he followed me through dark hallway
into the courtyard where i lived
and when i turned uncomfortable, 
he leered and came close, groping 

i shoved him away, told him to leave
in the language that he spoke
and ran up spiral staircase 
to the safety of my home
fastening main gate behind

telling my husband what happened
i unpacked my bag of groceries
purchased to feed our family
at the local outdoor bazaar

a few minutes later, i turned
and there he was 
in the doorway smirking 
three stories up, darkness behind.

arriving at my cry, my husband
ushered him back the way he came
and some of our neighbours 
joined the fray, indignant 

and later we considered that 
he was perhaps too stoned 
to realise

that my home was not a brothel,
that i was not for sale 
like other unfortunate women 
100 meters up the road

that night i was safe
but women i passed daily 
were absolutely not

i was grateful--  
and discounted this experience
as ‘not as bad’ as theirs
shoving it down, ignoring 

even though for weeks
i startled and turned 
while at my kitchen bench
senses and body remembering

and became hypervigilant 
when leaving my home
at all

it wasn’t until much later
that i learned trauma is trauma 
is trauma

it is never a competition
and someone else’s will always 
be worse……..always

that even smaller events just pushed aside  
can build upon themselves, like stones 
in a fence increasing  

that even mine were valid 
needed to be acknowledged 
(not relived, but recognised) 
in order to begin to heal
	
	--please know and understand 
            that yours are valid too

Photo by Amy Elting on Unsplash

there is no right or wrong way 
to do this

it does not need to quickly turn 
into deeply meaningful lessons learned

it does not have to be comfortable
or easy 

or ever really ‘make sense’

and there are no certain amount 
of sanctioned days before 
you must then be okay,

sometimes grief is simply meant 
to be…… 

and then 
it is meant to be carried

-this is how healing softly, slowly steals in

heather pound 2024

Photo by Ingmar H on Unsplash

when we are invited to walk 
into the home of someone new,
we come in softly, sit on the seat shown
        sip on the cuppa offered
                and listen
—our mothers taught us this

we resist the urge to comment 
        upon cracks in walls
                and plaster that’s chipped
--we understand the occupant 
is surely aware of these 

we do not suggest when to start a remodel
        or what décor they should install
--we know this is not our place 

and above all, we would not pick up tools
open tubs of paint
        and push aside the owner 
                 to begin

we would never-ever do this
when visiting a home,
so why do we sometimes assume 
we can try to ‘fix’
        the heart and mind of another 
                uninvited?

Photo by Lena Polishko on Unsplash

We lived for several years in the city that remembers Mother Teresa well. Reading her words while there profoundly impacted me (and they do still), but what people of Kolkata remember is not her words–but the way that she cared. 

Not a bad reminder at all.

he empties the dishwasher every single
morning and makes the messy bed
rain or shine 
without ever being requested 

‘yes of course-go ahead’ he says 
when i want to try something new
add to my interests
express my talents
spend time with a friend

‘i have noticed that you might be tired’ 
he says, when i have done or felt too much
and am headed towards exhaustion
--long before i would have
noticed on my own

‘did you remember sunscreen?’ he asks
as we walk out the door for a day outside
even though he never needs it
but i do—and often forget

--some of the ways he says ‘i love you’ 
without even saying the words 

heather pound 2024

Photo by Joshua Woroniecki on Unsplash

you sit in the sun
feeling springtime warmth
soak into wintered skin
with a light and gentle breeze

as winged soloists twitter and trill
and the scent of fresh and blooming
things floats past 

in steady rhythms 
nature has waited
and is now prepared      
to blossom once again

and she whispers soft, “do not forget 
during seasons when winter 
wraps around your heart
--this too shall always pass”

heather pound 2024

Photo by Edu Grande on Unsplash

if you gather fresh leaves
and force them down 
into a damp bin
all squished in, crushed
and sealed tight 

then over time if you press in
more and more and more….
pretty soon you will have
a slimy, gooey, smelly mess
disgusting  

but if you allow the leaves
to be out in the open 
exposed to the elements 
even if they are messy 
and crinkle when you walk
(for a time), they will 
wither 
          and 
                    dry

then one blustery autumn day
they might blow away
or enrich the soil 
in the course of winter rains
nourishing the growth 
of green, green growing things
in the coming spring

---the difference between squashing down 
painful emotions and letting them breathe   

heather pound 2024

Wesley Tingey For Unsplash+

you gaze around bewildered
because they cannot comprehend 
just do not understand,
this person or those people 
whose opinions you value 
or this society even

but there are just some things
that cannot be grasped
before walking through
that searing, white-hot flame

of thinking you were ‘fine’ one day
but waking with a ton of bricks 
pressing down upon your chest
the next 

you say, why do people not realise
that this astounding, complex organ
this vast, little understood universe 
of neurotransmitters, neurons and cells

controlling every action, every cognition
each and every sense or emotion 
can be injured too?

you say, if only there were a cast
upon your leg
or something they could
clearly see

then you might be allowed 
without question, without suspicion
without judgement 
without well-intentioned 
but unhelpful suggestions,
all the time you need 
to heal

--things i hear regularly in my practice from those with 
burnout/anxiety/depression. this is what they want people
to know but often can’t communicate. 

heather pound 2024

Photo by Katherine Hanlon on Unsplash

you fell to the floor broken
and there for a while you stayed
because it took a whole lot of gathered
strength to raise your head again

and as you looked around, shattered
at all the bits and parts that made up you,
looking at one here
turning another one over there

the realization came 
that there were
multiple pieces you 
         didn’t 
     even 
remember

that you had no idea you had ever possessed,
talents, traits, skills, things such as these

and you were curious
--so you explored some of these
trying this pattern together here
testing out another over there

and when, over time, you put yourself
gently back together, piece by careful piece, 
you glanced in the looking glass 
and hardly recognized 
the face that was there
restored

you recognized a more ‘you’ version of you 
than you had ever imagined
made possible by the breaking 
of the person that you were

and this, while sometimes painful
has led to the formation 
of the person that you are

heather pound 2024

Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash