Heather Pound

it’s too early even for the birds and yet the cicadas sing

and i arrive in this moment intentional

and wonder what it will choose to offer me today

 

will it be a moment full of peace that refills for life

or will it be a realisation or an ‘ahh ha’ moment

where that niggling thought finally slips into place

and either disappears or brings clarity

to brighten or empower

 

or perhaps it will be the whisper of the holy

–the weaving together of the tapestry of life

providing hope and meaning

 

whatever it is, i will welcome and greet it with

‘hello’

because life is not meant to be grasped until

strangled, but invited to breathe and speak

 

and engines begin to slide past

busily transporting others to the start of

their day

 

and yet i still sit and listen

and there it is, that first trill of birdsong

that welcomes the dawn

and all that the day will bring

 

and i am glad that i sat and waited

pen upon page to hear that joyful

welcoming cry

 

Heather Pound 2024

Photo by Patrick on Unsplash

i feel opened up entire, stripped back, bare

after sharing something tender to my heart today

 

and now i want to retreat, cover back up–or at least

further explain.

 

it is inexplicably difficult

to bring what i have just now

to lay it out, share,

and then just let it be.

perhaps this is part of the heart of what it means

to participate

in courage.

 

–if you’re stuck out at sea then floating is all that is required. 

Heather Pound 2024

Photo by Vicko Mozara on Unsplash

what i really want to say is that this specific example,

this disagreement, this crisis that screams loud is not

what you need to focus

on today,

 

because this is a pattern stuck on repeat getting louder and

louder as trauma swirls and grows.

 

instead, take a deep breath and dive beneath the surface,

courage gathered in close, ready to swim

 

because in the depths underneath are where

the catalyst lies, back to the start when thoughts

discombobulated and ways of coping formed.

 

they may have served you well back then

but are not supportive now, unhelpful

even, inviting harm.

 

underneath the surface is where essential,

constructive clues are accessed, and if you go back

to the beginning, the source of what is blocking the

essential oxygen required to deeply breathe,

the rich nutrients necessary to flourish and blossom and grow,

this is where dynamic adjustments lie.

 

this is the deep-seated and holy work that is painful indeed, but that

ushers in freedom and lasting change–that will then influence

the current crisis booming loud and demanding that is gripping

your thoughts today.

 

that doesn’t mean that every problem will vanish instant, but you

will be better equipped, more able to actively handle what comes today

and every day,

to step outside of patterns long established and habitually traversed,

to gather in agency and skills for new and improved pathways

ahead

 

and continue to swim towards freedom.

 

—this is easier said than done and might require the support of someone to specifically assist, but this lifechanging process is worth every stretched muscle and dollar spent to find it.

Photo by Naja Bertolt Jensen on Unsplash

 

this being human can be such an inconvenience.

up, down, in-between, our moods alter like

the weather and we are often left wondering

what this day’s forecast will be.

 

this is why i am jealous of those that don’t need

to stop as they take life in,

that seem to know just how to manage themselves

well and seldom have emotion blocked up.

 

i am ever grateful for the day that i discovered

that this is a skill to be learned,

that i, too, could manage myself better

each day at a time.

 

but for me this requires a pause, a check in,

not just observing as i go.

poking around under this chair and

around that corner of my heart and soul.

 

but i have learned that this is okay

because this process allows me to see deeply,

to understand better not only myself, but the

plight of humanity vast.

 

humanity at her very worst but also at her best.

that seed planted deep within hearts that the mind

might not know, but is there nevertheless

 

of something to offer, to share with other hearts

that founder around. a warm embrace, a cup of

cold water on a stifling day. things such as these

that not only impact the receiver, but perhaps

even more potently the person that gave.

 

Heather Pound 2024

Photo by Siora Photography on Unsplash

if only i could release that knot,

the one sitting creaky and long

in the middle of my chest.

oh, how deep i could then breathe!

i would gather it all up in a tidy

little ball—and just exhale, letting

it flow from my heart into open air

wide.

 

but even as i think this, i feel its

prickles sharpen as it, like the spine

of a sea urchin, digs in tighter still.

it will not be an easy thing, this

exhale of release.

 

so i draw the spines out of flesh

painful, one sting, sting, sting

at a time—but this is worth this,

to breathe—

 

at last it floats free, like tumbleweed

across the road in stiff winds, and i

breathe in deep

and breathe out release.

 

and then my heart began to sing,

“you are so much more than

that voice that whispers

harsh

‘inadequate.”

 

—whatever the knot is, it’s worth the effort to release.

Heather Pound 2024

Photo by Phạm Chung 🇻🇳 on Unsplash

 

it was ‘despair’ hiding there in the corner.

dusty and cold with yesterday’s wrinkled

clothes stuck to skin, he ran one shaky hand

through tousled hair while i struggled to

voice his name.

 

i had been ignoring his presence

for longer than i cared to admit,

for an optimistic heart who only wants

to know hope, he was a terrifying 

emotion to acknowledge.

 

then one surprising day, i felt compassion

for him, even him, huddling there.

 

and as i listened to his tales of woe,

i realised that even he had information

to convey, lessons to teach, and that

since he had co-existed with radical

 

hope for some time already that he

would not fulfil my biggest fear and

seek to take over entire. but still in

his corner he sits, passive.

 

i offered him a cool drink and a soft

cloth to soothe cracked skin and he

thanked me for attention received.

and i will now admit that even though

 

i deeply trust One who is greater than

i and believe that things will work out

in the end, that there is a part of me

that does at times despair.

 

this is the real and honest truth,

and this is okay,

 

and honesty with self and others

is the smartest and most constructive

way to walk through things such

as these.

 

Heather Pound 2024

Photo by Clay Banks on Unsplash

no matter what your thoughts might say

on this particular morning fresh,

no matter what life has thrown your way

in challenges and in highs and lows,

still there is always possibility.

 

do not think that joy has passed you by

like a tornado jumping house to house,

striking one and missing yours, never having

felt caught up in her tremendous grasp.

 

because perhaps for you it will come as the

gentlest scent on a summer breeze, pregnant

with humidity and not necessarily a familiar,

comfortable thing.

 

all i know if that joy is not stingy, she does

not snub or distinctions  make. no, she is

a friend to each and every one willing

 

to draw her in. and if she has not recently

your way come, then make sure you allow

yourself to linger in the kinds of spaces

she might frequent.

 

because sooner or later, she will arrive,

freshly bathed and dressed in her best,

and you must be ready to welcome her

in friendship and cheerful conversation

 

or even in peaceful quiet and flickering

firelight, just enjoying her presence

and her careful, ministering manner.

lean in, lean in to her gaze.

 

Heather Pound 2024

Photo by Kelli McClintock on Unsplash

if i slowed way down i would

stare at stars on each clear night

flat on back, arms stretched out

wide.

 

i would search for seashells every

day, dance to the steady rhythm

of the waves, and listen to their secrets

as they arrive from shores far and wide.

 

i would wander aimless through

groves of tall trees, and wait and watch

to see what peeps and flutters between

the leaves, what feathered companions

nestle there.

 

i would place hands on bark, feet steady

for minutes at a time, breathe woodiness

in deep and wonder what the trees have

seen indeed.

 

in summary, i would live as if this

very moment —was all that mattered

and i would lean into its offering. 

 

Heather Pound 2024

Photo by Graham Holtshausen on Unsplash

over our heads the seagulls flew

squawking to each other in a language

all their own.

 

i am not sure what exactly they said

but quite likely it had to do with hungry bellies,

for this is what a creature who must forage

often searches for.

 

and i wondered then why my very own heart,

a heart that has a banquet right within its reach,

has spent so much time foraging aimless for bread.

 

why sometimes it seems easier to stay in that space

of hunger called ‘distracted’ than to take even a moment

to calm, to listen to the silence.

 

do not be afraid of silence, for it is not fiercesome

and dark, no, it is a pathway to ease and light.

 

a space to rest from the cacophony of the world

around, to learn from the wisdom that whispers

between the sounds, the beating of hearts, the breath,

the calming of the storm into peace and rest,

to listen.

 

a place to feast from banquets vast

rather than senselessly, mindlessly

living on scraps. 

 

Heather Pound 2024

Photo shared by Peter Rix via ‘New Zealand is Awesome’ Facebook page.

there were long years of waiting.

if you had told me back then

i might not have believed

 

how high and low the waters would flow

how close my steps would come to joy

unbridled–but mostly how many would

dance with pain.

 

those days and months where hearts

bled and sorrow grew, but then again,

so did love.

 

she snuck in there like the first blooms

of spring, shimmering with dew—

every year a wonderment, unexpected.

 

and you would think that pain

would wither, consume fragile hearts

into dust, but no,

 

it was like a secret whispered by source

unexpected that love began to sing,

full throated and free

 

she vocalized. and with each breath grew

until at last i fell in love with all of it,

both the steps that sang and

the ones that wept.

 

for now i am changed, i will never

be the same. if you think about it,

isn’t that the purpose of a journey

 

after all, to end up in a different

and hopefully better place than

where you started?

 

Heather Pound 2024

Photo by Nelli Chaitanya on Unsplash